Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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