dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
