He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
