What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
