Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
