There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
