I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I wish i was in the wii world.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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