Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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