how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
