No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
