You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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