Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
