Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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