I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm both gender and math confused
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