Sponge bath it is.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
