I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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