The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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