dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
