it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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