I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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