My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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