He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
