Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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