So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
