Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
