It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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