I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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