Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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