Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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