The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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