He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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