that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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