Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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