In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
