I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dignity is for republicans.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
