maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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