Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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