Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
