You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
