We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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