two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
