I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Randomize
