I bet he comes in French.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
