But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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