haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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