this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
