Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Randomize