Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
