Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Hippo gnu deer
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
