Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
