I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize