did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
