Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He felt like a one man threesome
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
