at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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