By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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