i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
