they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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